Episode 29 - Talking To God On The Big White Telephone

Went out on Thursday night, to meet a friend in a local pub. I was in school with Richard but hadn't really stayed in touch for about 20 years. We'd met up over Christmas but still had a bit of catching up to do - and besides, it was interesting to find out whether we still had that old friendship and whether we could still get on?

Sian, another one of the old school turned about and stayed for a drink and then left. Out of all of us she had seemingly changed the least - still looked the same and sounded the same. But, like all of us the last 20 years had not gone by without leaving some trace. She was in the twilight of a fading marriage. Richard, long divorced but embarking on a new relationship with Jane - the fourth our little school time group. Richard had held a candle for her even then and it was a nice surprised to hear that they'd got together at last. Here's hoping that they get 20 years together and more.

When Sian left Richard and I got down to the business of the evening - talking bollocks, which i felt we did with some aplomb. Especially with all that ale and wine swilling about!

We spoke of creativity and what it was to us. Richard is a talented artist and I'm trying to be a writer (trying being the operative word). I've always wanted to write a children's book. I have the ideas, the characters and all the details in my head but not the courage to actually do it. Strange that, when you tell people your dreams, they come back with something - a word of encouragement - that seemingly pierces the veil and all becomes possible. You wonder why you held off for so long.

But the year, so far, has been like that. Re-appraisal, reconnection and re-vitalisation. Most of all, the confidence is returning and the fear is receding.

We talked about lots of other things too but I can't remember what. Soon, we drank up and left. Richards father picked him up and I walked home through the cold night - I was offered a lift, but the thought of spewing in the back of Richards Dads shiny Passat was a significant deterrent!

I eventually made it home, woke the house, retched in the toilet and was banished to the sofa. Spent the next day doing some more retching and felling sorry for myself. However, it all did the trick - as my head and stomach reconnected, I felt that me and more world were coming back together too.

Here's to hope.